No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
