I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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