Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize