I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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