There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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