i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Randomize