the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
i believe in u and ur pee
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
