there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen