We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes