I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
