You did not just play the dead husband card again.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
