apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
bring money and cleavage
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
