My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
