He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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