It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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