don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
