i think my tv is drunk
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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