okay pat passed out under dana's car
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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