I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
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