I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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