So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
