Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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