So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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