But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
there is glitter all over my balls
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
