Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
