i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
This is classic penis vs brain.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
