So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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