I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I just want nice things and good sex
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
