Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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