epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
