So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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