People with herpes should wear stickers.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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