she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
