I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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