Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
