just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
