you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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