Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize