The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
