I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
