so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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