Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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