I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
