Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
