remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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