the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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