There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm both gender and math confused
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