He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
