I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
