He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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