he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
