I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
