you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
