I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
