i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
