I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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