Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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