I wanna passion pit in your ass
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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