I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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