can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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