I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
