So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
