Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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